PSG: My Truth

Sisters, Brothers, Tribe,

            After coming to PSG in 2011, I felt empowered and transformed as a woman and pagan. This morning I need my tribe to bare witness, as I am hurting from wounds that have festered in the days leading up to PSG 2012 and the main women’s ritual. This pain was unintentional. I don’t seek to divide or disrupt my tribe. I ask you to see me and witness this pain because when one of us is wounded the whole tribe is wounded. This hurt comes from misunderstanding, misinformation, and confusion about transgendered people. I want to speak my truth and to start healing this pain. I don’t ask for acceptance or approval of my womanhood. I simply ask you, my tribe, to listen with your ears and your hearts. I stand and ask this as a woman of PSG and as a trans woman of PSG. Can you hear me?

I am hurting because I was invisible yesterday as I was separated from my tribe of women at last night’s ritual. To be divided is to be conquered and the attacks on women’s reproductive rights in our time affect us all: women, men, and families.  I am hurting as the voices and pain of my trans brothers and brothers become invisible for the sake of survival or by the actions of other. These actions of others, both intentional and unintentional, are taking place in the in the mundane and spiritual communities. I am hurting because injustice abounds and we choose not to speak up because the truth is too painful. Growth is painful but growing is part of the cycles of Life, the Sacred Spiral. I am hurting because I am told by someone how I can or can’t experience the Mysteries, both symbolic and physical, despite the personal nature of these Sacred Mysteries. I am hurting because there are no easy answers to fix these problems in our PSG Tribe, the Pagan community, or within humankind as a whole. Again, when one of us hurts, we all are hurt because we are all connected within Spirit.

Life is painful and joyous. My hope is that the joys in life out number the pain. However, without the pain the joys are not as sweet. I do experience the pains of women when I am exploited, labeled, and objectified. And the pains I experience as a trans woman are not the same as my Tribe sisters because the transgendered community experiences the highest percentage of violence and murder of any population around the globe. As I bear this pain on my path, I cry tears flowing from the depths of my soul. These tears unite humankind in the ocean of love that connects us all as humans. In these tears there can be healing because this is the moment and the power of “now”. In the “now” there is magick to transform the future. We can’t change the past but we can change the future.

I have a vision of our Tribe, united not by our differences but by the diversity and love of our Tribe. Like the different faces of Spirit that we sing, dance, commune with, and celebrate as one Tribe. Our Tribe grows stronger in this diversity as we gather together as our ancestors and tribes have done through the ages.

Melissa Murry

PSG 2012